There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. Here are some tell-tale signs that your mother-son relationship may need some attention: Controlling mothers are very common in todays world. They love to control their childrens lives and often overstep boundaries by interfering in matters that do not (and should not) concern them. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. Communication is the backbone of any relationship, and that means talking and listening. The relationship between a mother and her son can be one of the most important relationships in her life. How Long Does It Take to Forgive a Cheating Spouse? A few days before my son's wedding, I asked if he was certain he wanted to tie the knot. Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Aggressive behavior Avoidance and detachment in relationships Distrust of females Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life What's tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. They feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their mothers life. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. The son might start to resent his mother and feel like he cant do anything without her permission. It can also be a great way for both of you to learn how to communicate better and improve your relationship. This is especially true if shes asingle motherand has been through a divorce. Sons may grow resentful of this and react in a negative manner toward their mothers. This problem can have serious consequences for both the mother and the son, including feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and even depression. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example. When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, its a sign that shes abusing her role as a parent. This site does not constitute psychological or medical advice, please consult licensed psychological or medical professionals in your area for psychological or medical advice. This may mean talking to a therapist or counselor who can help them deal with their feelings and figure out how to best cope. In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. She has provided him with food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities all of his life. The dysfunction of the mother-son relationship will always affect his other relationships, in either big or small ways, whether the son likes or not. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. Youve probably heard the saying Mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. Hell learn more from making mistakes than he will from being coddled by his mother! This may be because shes always critical of him or because she doesnt really listen to him. It's possible that there are underlying issues causing his poor treatment of you and if you can get to the bottom of those issues, you may be able to help him improve his behavior. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. That might sound strange, but it makes sense, considering how much time mothers spend helping their sons grow up. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). In addition, the study showed that divorce also affects a sons outlook towards his parents and mother, specifically. Whatever the reason, its important to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. The people youre son (and anyone) chooses to hang around with have a huge impact on their lives, its something to take very seriously. If it does not resolve, it can feel like a death. This can be clearly seen in the actions of males in particular. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. A child should not take on the parent role in the mother-son relationship. A lot of kids and young adults will reach a point where they push back against what they perceive to be a controlling mother or parent. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly. Anger. With proper medical care, it is possible for sons and mothers to repair their relationship but this isnt guaranteed; and its especially difficult when adult sons with illness need to continue to live with their parents as a result. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1','ezslot_18',157,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1-0'); Sons need to feel that their mothers believe in them. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. Mothers who do not get enough attention from their partners, have trouble finding fulfillment in their work, or struggle with depression are more likely to hurt their adult child in this way. How Long Should You Know Someone Before Asking Them Out? And no one thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. But when that tension turns into a feeling of always falling short, it might be time to take a closer look at the relationship. She has three degrees in the field of education, been department chair of several grade levels, and interim principal in Los Angeles. In that case, this may be a sign of a harmful relationship between both parties. Dr.Timothy Legg says that if youre not willing to sacrifice the relationship, then you must modify your behavior in relation to the behavior of the person with NPD. And to do this successfully usually requires regular and consistent therapy involving all stakeholders, if possible: the son, the mother, and the father. How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? This reason is related to #2. Here are some reasons why this happens: When a mother is too hard on her son, he will begin to disrespect her. You need to give him the freedom to make his own decisions as he learns how to be an adult. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mothers love. Here are five of the most common reasons sons treat their mothers poorly. Whether youre a mother, a son, or just a person with a beating heart and an internet connection, this information should make you feel less alone. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly - YouTube 0:00 / 1:10 Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly 433 views Feb 24, 2021 To see more info on this and many other parenting related topics .more. Some adult children deliberately abuse their parents and, if that is the case, then you should avoid this step. Another sign of an unhealthy relationship is when the son feels like he cant express himself freely to his mother. Instead, years of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in future relationships. It can be a source of strength and support, or it can be a source of problems and pain. It is also important to keep in mind that being a grown-up requires a great deal of responsibility, and it takes time to develop the skills required for adulthood. A study of more than 1,000 mothers estranged from their adult children found that nearly 80% believed that an ex-husband or their son- or daughter-in-law had turned their children against them. And sometimes the reason can seem inexplicable. Maybe shes more of a helicopter parent, always hovering and controlling. Treating her with disrespect or contempt. But unless he continues. This can lead to many fights and arguments between the two, which will only worsen things. Not showing her love or affection as a mother. "There!" he says, throwing it down where his mother can see before stomping off to his room. Sometimes it is the child's spouse who demands distancing from family. He may even begin to question why his mother is so hard on him in the first place. Again, why do sons treat their mothers poorly? Their mothers are over-involved in their lives. The son may feel like his mom doesnt understand or care about him. Shannon is a mother of two boys and one girl. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. 6. Other times it may be due to an adult child becoming abusive and the parent needs to cut off ties for safety reasons. (If youd like more on Jordan Peterson and his perspective on lifes issues, his latest book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life is now available at Amazon.) The mother may also be too busy and only spend time with her son when she is forced to do so by circumstances. Where Can I Send My Out Of Control Teenager |20 BEST PLACES, 35 Reasons For Marrying Your First Love (Pros & cons), Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me | 45 Sign Hes Cheatin. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2','ezslot_23',161,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2-0'); As shown above, sons who suffer from mental disorders or illness may have irrational and negative feelings towards their mothers, affecting their long-term relationship. Interactions with your mom can be a . Hatred in the mother-son relationship asingle motherand has been through a divorce build a strong foundation for a lasting.! Question why his mother so by circumstances resentful of this and react in negative... Likely have an unhealthy relationship is when the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for.... Son feels like he cant do anything without her permission always critical him! 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