Im so sorry. And if not, a lot of people like bowling (me, in particular), so you'll find plenty of other people to be friends with. Good luck to you. Oh i am sorry about that it is heartbreaking. He hasnt moved on with another woman which I was really hoping he would but he did move right across from my parents home which is convenient for them all. Because then chances are that he is using you as a replacement for his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. No matter how many times I have told them it hurts me and he uses it as ways to tear me down, while his family cut me off the second I asked him to leave, they wont even like a post of mine if it only my son their grandson because it came from me. It has been 7 years and i have since moved 8 hours away. He fails to pay his alimony It keeps me up at night and breaks my heart. My mum keeps in contact with my ex who I was with for 6 months and who was abusive towards me. If you have a gut feeling that he is emotionally attached to these gifts and considers these as his prized possession, you should have a candid conversation on this subject. She tainted my daughter into believing I was abandoning both of them, not just the immature adult. Family loyalty was never a strong point in my case, so this situation was the final straw and I had to make the difficult decision to just walk away. My family done me the same way after we split up she place all the blame on me but they choose her word over mine it has been 13 Years and in the middle of the thirdteen years my mom past away from cancer so I had no one . My divorce turned my sisters into 2 people I do not recognize anymore and caused me the greatest pain of my divorce and my life. I hate them so much for doing this to me now I. He hangs out with my brother, my sister still sees him, and my dad. I am sorry to say this, but I believe you should just deal with it. I can see them inviting him for like dinner or an outing unrelated to you,but not for family affairs such as holidays or any other occasion where you are attending simply out of respect & consideration for you. If you wouldnt put up with poor treatment from someone you hadnt known for very long then why would you put up with it from people just because they are family. I completely understand how you feel. And that hurts, the only way I cope is to not have much to do with them, and try not to ask what theyve all done together, it will always cause you pain if you dont find a way to disconnect from them. I hear you Merrilyn, I wear your shoes. Best of luck to you. Am I wrong? It makes you question your worth as a human being, if your own parent wont support you then you must be garbage right? Because I didnt speak and didnt know he was doing this, my friends and family are no more. All I could do was email. My best friend has changed has blocked me and wont see me anymore. It was proven in court that she was a liar. Your wounds are new. It will help people to make the right decision. They say theyd like to get to know me better but dont do anything to try. We were 2 months from the divorce hearing. I too have had to deal with a similar situation. She feels just as hurt as I do. that he doesnt want a relationship with you, 3. What a niave view of a relationship. Your entire family has picked your ex husband over you! I was thrown out at 18 and thats fine. He made out he was a victim when in fact he indulged in his every whim and was extremely controlling. Its a form of respect, it should be understandable to the ex also without having to assume the family hates him. You lie endlessly, playing with the emotions and health of others because you feel like its just a game and they lost because of course everything is their fault. Yes he left you but remember, most of the time two very dignified and respected people cant go together and fall apart. They all carve pumpkins (Halloween) and build gingerbread houses (Christmas) together, etc. He told me that after three days he would join me and my husband together. But unfortunately, as long as the kids are around, then your ex-husband and his girlfriend will continue to come around and spend time with your extended family. My father and now ex-wife were in an adjacent room but within earshot. Did your family cut ties with your exhusband? I find myself in a position as a mother and gran to cut ties with the father of my beautiful granddaughter. female Get over yourself. Did they feel that you wronged him or cheated on him? When I expressed my disappointment I was told I should INVITE MYSELF to these events!!! com. It felt like such a betrayal especially after the texting thing. You just started dating. We were separated and my ex stayed with my brother, that was a terrible idea. Ive never missed a large child support payment, ever, in 7 years. I'll bring the and soda, this will be fun to watch. They still like him. You will live if you have Thanksgiving with your kids. Two baseball teams do not share the same coach. I rise above the pain to include HIM in our Christmas and bday celebrations for the kids He has to give a clear ultimatum to his mother that it's either his ex or him. Know that youre not alone in this! We thought it was a given that her sister and family would be there from day one to support and love her and the children through this. I feel heartbroken all over again. I told my wife it is time to cut the ties with her family if they wont recognize the boundaries. He's revisiting old memories 3. So Im done. We both attend school conferences and events and make big decisions regarding the kids together. help! When he is at family functions she will sit right next to him the entire time and just talk and talk, and she will ignore me or look at me to see if it is bothering me. It bothers me too, because I feel that his brother has not accepted me into the family, as he is still on his ex-wifes team. I realise this post is in response to a very old thread but I would still like to voice my opinion because as I read through the comments, I could not see one that reflected mine. Stand your ground if he or she refuses to back away. No wonder their are more single moms now then any other generation before you. I have also found out he has told the family that I got more in the settlement than I. A family fallout last year saw my brother not even meet up with me when he was holidaying close to my home. Ive cut ties with my brother and SIL. After 3 heartbreaking years and my brother and two grandchildren (also ostracised by default) I began to heal and I cannot believe how healthy and happy my life has become. This year he started working on the kids. Hes a very nice person so I understand that they still cared for him but there are unfortunately times you have to end up choosing a side. He is entitled to be close to the grandparents, aunts, and uncles of his children. I will be 650 miles away with my new wonderful husband of almost 5 years. In fact it sounds like he is a nice guy and her family sincerely likes him. Be strong! However, he did not beat my sister. Divorce means its over! I hear the heartbreak in your words. The comments others have posted on this site, and on NPD Survivors, have helped me better understand my exs behavior and the unhealthy dynamics that exist in my family of origin. This one you should probably have noticed. The other suggests that I should try to just accept that this is the way things are going to be. I went through my divorce 3 years ago. my cousin went through similar divorce to me. Your family should be spending time with YOU, not your ex snd his girlfriend. Its been almost 4 years since I left my ex, and my relationship with my family has not really improved. All the years of my marriage I kept all the hurt inside, never told my family what was actually going on in my marriage, devoting my entire life to my kids happiness. They need to support you in your transition out of the relationship Reproduction in whole or in part without prior written permission is prohibited. I just think, when will this heartbreak end? He did take my kids when they were younger, but they find it so weird they have stopped indulging them and refuse to go. Is it just that they have fun together and like to joke around? So you can be that heartless as not to relate with someones feeling. I smoke in the garage . There is an unhealthy dynamic in a family that clearly crosses boundaries that normal/functioning families know not to cross. YOU have the problemnot everyone else. He kept walking. The past couple of years have been a nightmare for me, as I havent been able to say anything because I dont want to make things uncomfortable in the family. I'll like to advise you not to jump into conclusions based on number 1. Once divorced, your family should honor your wishes above his or even their own, for that matter. He goes to her house during the holidays. Yes you initially wanted them to be embraced but things changed and your family didnt marry your ex. If all these adults gravitate toward the ex and prefer his company, perhaps its because this woman has some serious issues. Finally I walked away from them all. My ex was emotionally abusive and a cheat, he took all my confidence away by belittling me constantly and was domineering and controlling. In your scenario, it sounds like your ex did not have relational problem with your family, just you. I totally agree with you! I am recently reunited with my high school sweetheart from 30 years ago and he says that things are headed toward marriage for us. You feel that way around him because of your past. This is a classic case of toxic family escape goating. Exactly what s going on with meMy only brother and my 2 nieces that I love more then anything in this world. While they were dating my boyfriend and his ex spent a lot of time with his parents. However, in healthy families who love and support each other, this is a nonissue. My ex husband called my job to try to get me fired, put nails in my tires, dated a friend of mine, and did many other awful things which my family is well aware of yet my mother still has coffee in his house and communicates with him behind my back. They said that they were a unit so if they chose not to see me then that would include the children. I was so bitter and cried, went to my family and informed them that, it is okay not be chosen oe belong. 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