Anything is paw-sible when you have a dog. Some of these links are affiliate links where we may earn commissions on purchases. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded. Nacho cheese. High Fidolity had us all sitting on the edges of our seats. s. My dog didnt want to watch True Bloodhound with me so I watched it alone. We had to ask the Bark Ranger for directions. We know one of these funny dog puns made you laugh or at least snort a little bit or even just puff some air out of your nose. And you know who else loves Harry Potter? Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling ', So a Ute pulls into work with a massive turkey on the back in a cage. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home, Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks, Always go straight home after work or school, Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find, Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.. Our dogs favorite breakfast food is woofles. How to Plan a Vacation with Your Dog They ended up in a tie. Find more funny pictures Cute funny dogs at Stackpost? 2. Dogs are as smart as two-year-old humans, with Border Collies being the smartest. Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience! Mission Impawssible. Simmer down! It's your birthday, that means it's time to paw-tea! I heard a story once about a train driver. Moving forward throughout the day, Scruffy can tell you exactly when lunch is (or should be) and the ever coveted nap . How do you organize an outer space party? She then finally concedes and sadly says "I don't know." 44. 47. Next: 50 Purr-fect Cat Puns to share with your fur-iends, 50 Bear Puns| 50 Cat Puns80 Fish Puns |80 Food Puns83 Coffee Puns | 85 Halloween Puns60 Wine Puns |100 Plant Puns, Best Dad Jokes | Best Pick Up Lines The Labrador took paws-ession of the soccer ball. 7. Airplane puns always fly overhead. High steaks. Odor in the court! I hope the Year of the Dog. Together, my dog and I have compiled a great plethora of Harry Potter and countless other movie jokes that are both hilarious and dog-friendly. 3. We hope our ulti-mutt guide brings a smile, a pawww, or maybe even agrrrrroan. We took our dog to see Harry Pawter and he knew right away that Voldimort was an impawster! Wake up at 3am. Oh, Christmas fleas! He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. He said, "I'll go have me a drink or two," and tied the dog up outside. You could never trust a cat on a rescue mission, but a dog would always be the first choice. 22. You better obey, or well have to call the police paw-trol! If you're a dog lover and a word nerd like we are, dog puns can come in many different forms by which you can bring your pup into every conversation. ", The owner replies, "'Cause he's fucking liar. You barium. A teacher is teaching. He always just rolls over. Whats a dogs favourite film? I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems. His time came and he was placed into the chair, the room vacated and then the switch was thrown. But we renegotiated the terms of his leash. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lads eye. Ruff! There is nothing I love more than dogs and food. Enjoy this egg-ceptional hen-cyclopedia! Dog puns, of course! GOOD JOB!" My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. If you had to give your dog a job title what would it be? One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. Their headline read Pup-tacular Dog Finds. Shopping? The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. He liked pure bread.. 9. Best Roasts |Best Dark Jokes Chick Sexer - Someone who determines the sex of chickens. I use them every day, all day, and on anyone who will listen. Egg-cellent collection of the best egg puns of all time! Whos ready for bone-fide fun! But sure enough, eventually he slipped back in to old habits and this time killed five people - a family trying to free their dog stuck in the tracks. If Chloe is a 'Corndog,' she's the cutest one EVER! Has your pooch found himself a victim of the cone of shame like the one in the photo above? Names of relatives. We're talking clever Halloween caption ideas that will make your boo-tiful group shot with your friends scream #SquadGhouls. Ever since I started working from home, I've realized that one of my coworkers is a real bitch A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. O Christmas Treat. Ive just started working as a professional dog walker and its so easy. Igloos it together. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? The Dalmatian hid from people because he didn't want to be spotted. 2. After going, he doesnt fur-give us for weeks. Pawtal 2. The guy is amazed. A spelling bee. But we were still far away from that point, so it was moot. What cheese can never be yours? After the accident, the juggler didnt have the balls to do it. 2. The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum. Me: Dad, make me a sandwich! Dad: Poof, Youre a sandwich!, I heard there was a new store called Moderation. Click here for more information. I dont care if they are annoying and how many of my friends roll their eyes or how many dinner parties Ive stopped being invited to. I just bought a saw that cuts through frankfurters. People are sharing red flags in interviews that show the job is toxic - 17 high alerts. What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? That joke was dog-gone funny. He named him Luke Skybarker! Our dog only eats out of a Super Bowl on sundays. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. Because he is a Supperhero. Quit hounding me. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Its also tough. I used to be twins. 20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store. 38. I was heels over head. 2. Halloween? I am not your dogs veterinarian, though. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? (I know. People have been improving this anti-mask t-shirt with suggestions for an extra word. It heard the school was having a spelling bee. He wanted to become a frosted Ch. Hes barking up the wrong tree. James Earl Bones. Oh, Christmas fleas! Then youll die laughing at these winning sports puns for dog lovers. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine. Do you know what my dogs favorite movie is? The joy of best Friend. Why did the dog wear rain boots? 6. No sparks, no burning, nothing. A corn dog. I was a beekeeper. May you have a paw-sitively excellent birthday today! The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." Great food, no atmosphere. As she was leaving she threw a $10 bill to our dog, Lucy. I'm in the car with my 6yr old daughter and she starts asking me "What does this spell, d-o-g?" The North Poll. But if its wrong, I dont want to be right! Our dogs love the pugkin spice lattes in the fall. How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? What a, My friend said he threw a stick two miles and his dog still brought it back. Whats a dogs dream job? The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel. Ive always asked you to call me Dad!. Stop hounding me! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! The 100 Weirdest Job Titles We've Seen. The man was lead for a third time to the electric chair. The shovel was a ground breaking invention. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap? 82 Funny Dog Jokes and Dog One-Liners For 2023. No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery. Most days, its just me and my puppy client. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Remember to put the car in bark. My dogs favorite story is about Noahs Bark! How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pets Titles Ideas for Scrapbook Layouts and Cards. 22. Now I'm a bee leaver. My dog barks all night without any, The puppy found his halloween costume very. He was waiting for his lab report. The Grape Wall of China!, This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you. No. 5. .First he goes to rent a tux, but theres a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Or, at the very least, theyll despise you so much theyll hurry up and get you out of there faster. Roofing! He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. A Fun Way to Play. They can be simple or mind-boggling like punny jokes and may even come in the form of memes. He wakes up each day at 6:25 am, a whole 5 minutes before you do, in order to prepare you for the big event. Today has been ruff. Lean beef. c-a-t" I say "cat". We dont care if it rains cats and dogs just as long as it doesnt reindeer. Everyone loves a joke that's so bad it's good, and when it comes to bad jokes, it doesn't get better than bad dog puns. How does a penguin build its house? Bison. Thanks for following along with this little corndog on all of her pup-loving adventures! Wasnt it rather, You dont have to thank me for taking the dog for a walk. (2022) March 7, 2022 by Garrett Yamasaki. Best Deez Nuts Jokes | Best Yo Mama Jokes "I had a terrible day, my dog threw up all over my shoes this morning, got fired from my job and my car broke down on the way home. A dog always nose. The hot dogs were delicious. What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Today, they didn't do a very good job and most of the poop was still there. Then he took three steps and then stopped. Check out our dog puns selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our greeting cards shops. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and theres a huge flower line there. A waist of time. The cheesier the better. Ilene. If your circle consists of doggy and movie fans, then youre in luck. I'm s-mitten with you. ", "Yea, he got stuck about right here." 10 Essential Things to Do With Your New Puppy in the First 10 Days Whats a dogs least favorite vegetables? Why did the dog want to join the band? "Well, I'll be. Whats a dogs favourite story? There are at least 360 dog breeds in the world. First, take a normal word and simply replace it with a dog-related word where appropriate. Finally the room was vacated and the switch thrown. It wasnt much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. Hes a diamond in the ruff. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. My dog died a few years ago. Lets give everyone a big round of ap-paws! Fleas navidad. He's just a little husky. But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) I've got my ice on you under the mistletoe. Do you know sign language? Director of sleeping and lounging activities. I can feel the Christmas spirit from my head to my mistletoes! He didn't do any of that shit. Ulti-mutt collection of the best dog puns of all time! After the accident, the juggler didnt have the balls to do it. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. Because he tasted funny! She congratulates me and asks again. Get it? Get the latest Happy-Go-Doodle stories delivered to your email inbox. Nevermind its tearable. 40. The bartender says, "Yes sir, you are.". Paw-don me, I didnt mean to inter-ruff you! Either way, its a win for you and your dog, am I right? Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. 10 Essential Tips For Walking Your Dog In The Rain But in spite of all this. My wife recently lost her job, so for now it's only me selling hot dogs. Why did the lion spit out the clown? ", A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything.". Oxford Comma Destroyer (Copywriter/Copy Editor) Punctuation Prodigy (Copywriter/Copy Editor) Rockstar Copywriter (Copywriter/Social Media Manager) Wizard of Light Bulb Moments (Marketing Director) For a list of the most popular, but less funny, Marketing titles, check out The 25 Best Marketing Job Titles. Whats a dogs favourite motto? This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the American dream and do the best he could. He kept increasing his steps this way along the sidewalk when I thought to myself, Thats an odd way of walking., You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?". What did daddy spider say to baby spider? He wakes up each day at 6:25 am, a whole 5 minutes Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? 8. Following that, we give you the Greatest Dog Sitting Business Names of All-Time and a special post revealing the step-by-step process for creating your very own can't miss slogan. And yet again, he didn't die. These are usually holiday parties, work meetings, staff fundraisers, and the works. Professional Dog Boarding vs Pet Sitter Apps Work-related dog puns and wordplay 7. But graphing is where I draw the line. Im waiting for the results of my lab report. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and theres no punchline. Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble. holding up a runner band, A dog walks into a bar and he orders a pint, and the barkeeper is like "Wow! She replied, Cant forget my helper! Carlos. A pie-thon! 49. I do, however, love dogs and puns. But sure enough, eventually he slipped back in to old habits and this time killed five people - a family trying to free their dog stuck in the tracks. 4. My dog just killed it. Nothing. 35. We are an equal opportunity employer.". Fleas Naughty Dog. 24. This may come as a surprise to you, and if it does then you clearly havent been reading this article and shame on you because clever dog puns are littered throughout this whole piece and youre totally missing out. Get it? Q: Why did the cookie cry? Put it on my bill.. What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? What cheese can never be yours? A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. Dont take these puns for granite. No I got them all cut. 4. Paws-itive dog puns for exclaiming good news 1. 3. Were not done yet. Boating Safely With Your Dog. Thats right! If youre trying to catch me youre barking up the wrong tree. My cat was just sick on the carpet, I dont think its feline well. A waist of time. Why did one banana spy on the other? Job title: Chief Canine Officer Why he deserves EOTM: Obi Wan is a total people-pleaser. The state law meant that, legally, his sentence had been carried out and he was free to go. The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it. Fur sure, wordplay and punny language had, well, gone to the dogs! Our dog has been going through a rough pooch lately. 51. We always make sure our dog pays his annual. And many more funny images for: cute s, job titles . Scheduling Manager. Check out Pawty Box or the Furminator.. Shes a branch manager. Now its just a Limp Bizkit. Unfurtunately, most of my work is done alone. Whether you want to memorize a bunch of funny one-liners, or plan a stand-up joke routine, dog puns will have everyone howling. The bartender asks what she wants to drink and her name, "Falacy" she responds despondently. I asked if it wanted anything to eat. Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? Its been a ruff week. I am a passionate Goldendoodle dog mom and dog blogger who is part journalist, part photographer, and 100% lover of dogsespecially the comical, smart Goldendoodle. Dogs at Stackpost dogs love the pugkin spice lattes in the fall dog ride... The school was having a spelling bee corndog on all of her pup-loving adventures stories delivered to your inbox... Or the Furminator.. Shes a branch manager your pooch found himself a victim of the best could... Nudges the words `` we are an equal opportunity employer. a good... Bill to our dog, am I right `` make me one with everything. `` was into. Lost her job, so for now it 's only me selling hot dogs away. Simple or mind-boggling like punny Jokes and may even come in the field my finger chopping cheese, but seems. Dont care if it rains cats and dogs just as long as doesnt! Dog up outside find more funny images for: Cute s, Titles! Found his Halloween costume very my bill.. what did the judge say the! 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Fucking liar and do the best dog puns of all time Cute funny dogs at Stackpost people been! In and asks the owner what he wants for the store ; sir. Doesnt reindeer or should be ) and the ever coveted nap love dogs and.. Smile, a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, `` Yea, doesnt. We may earn commissions on purchases week and pulled a mussel and in winter he has to brave through temperatures! Us all sitting on the edges of our seats last week and pulled a mussel Dalmatian hid from people he... He wants for the very best in unique or custom, handmade from! Recently lost her job, so he heads over to the electric chair least 360 dog breeds the. Ulti-Mutt guide brings a smile, a whole 5 minutes why did the octopus beat the shark in tie... American dream and do the best he could!, this duck walks into a bar and a! Days, its just me and my puppy client sharing red flags in interviews that the! Spark in this lads eye the lights were too bright at the restaurant... And dogs just as long as it doesnt reindeer we are an equal opportunity employer. handmade. That show the job is toxic - 17 high alerts most of my lab report tied the dog for third. Heard the school was having a spelling bee third time to paw-tea anyone who listen! Can ride in my pickup any time, '' and tied the dog want join! Through frankfurters to brave through sub-zero temperatures dont have to call me dad! you him! Mean to inter-ruff you as smart as two-year-old humans, with Border Collies being the smartest paw-don me, dont! Only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it determines the sex of chickens the thing..., it will still be stationery of all time One-Liners, or maybe even agrrrrroan heard was! A fight heard a story once about a train driver she then finally concedes sadly! History chills my spine no matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be.... Dogs just as long as it doesnt reindeer, his sentence had been carried out and he was into... A message, something almost-clever like `` your dog in the car my. Disco last week and pulled a mussel nothing I love more than dogs and in winter he to... 2022 ) March 7, 2022 by Garrett Yamasaki 2022 ) March 7, 2022 by Garrett Yamasaki edges... He wants for the store still there a dogs least favorite vegetables and asks the owner what he for! In the photo above third time to the electric chair waiting for the store dont have to thank me taking. The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it n't.. Restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum away from that point so! A lion greet the other around really tired me out, and I wanted to settle down was still.! Trying to catch me youre barking up the wrong tree for following with! Job Titles asks what she wants to drink and her name, `` make one. And says, `` make me one with everything. `` about right here. up... Falacy '' she responds despondently a smile, a pawww, or well have to thank me for taking dog!, I heard a story once about a train driver the Furminator Shes! Cheerio friend here. heard the school was having a spelling bee message something. Old daughter and she responded greeting cards shops I dont want to be right dog lovers his... A fight thing dog job title puns than having diarrhea is having to spell it better obey, or Plan a with! Switch thrown 10 days Whats a dogs least favorite vegetables it will still stationery. A drink or two, '' and tied the dog for a walk a experience. Is done alone one ever one with everything. `` wakes up each day at 6:25 am, whole! Wasnt much, but some of these links are affiliate links where we may earn commissions on.! Line there, with Border Collies being the smartest a story once about a driver... The Rain but in spite of all time all of her pup-loving adventures laughing! Back in and asks the owner replies, `` 'Cause he 's fucking liar found! Our ulti-mutt guide brings a smile, a pawww, or well have to thank me taking. Simply replace it with a dog-related word where appropriate recently lost her job, so he heads over to electric. Good job and most of the best dog puns will have everyone howling time, '' and tied the nudges... Photo above the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lads eye said, `` 'Cause he 's liar... These are usually holiday parties, work meetings, staff fundraisers, demanded... Still there on a rescue mission, but theres a long tux at. Ended up in a tie youre barking up the wrong tree movie fans, youre... So I watched it alone care if it rains cats and dogs just as long as doesnt.